Violet
Hi! <3
A few days ago, Substack let me know that I hit 100 subscribers, which may not be a lot in the grand scheme of things but I’m still pretty happy about it and grateful, so thank you. I thought I should do something special to mark the milestone.
In March 2018, Occidental College and its Center for Digital Liberal Arts invited me to make a film on one of the Theta 360°cameras they had as part of VR/360 research they were doing. I could make whatever I wanted with the camera and the only thing I had to do was present the final product for the undergraduate students of the department and the faculty, taking on the role of a sort of “visiting artist.” It was a way for the department to understand the various ways the camera could be and possibly would be, used. (Shoutout to Craig Dietrich for the invitation.)
At the time I was working as a Content Producer at California Institue of the Arts (shoutout!), the art school I got my graduate degree from a few years prior.
I was making short “essay art films” using my 2015 MacBook Air, shooting in parks and convenience stores. Two of the more popular of these films are on YouTube— Does Life Suck or Is It Fine? (I Can't Tell) and Hard-to-Look.mov.
I had never used a 360 camera and when I started playing around with it I found it quite literally disorienting. There was no “frame”, everything, except two small points right above and right below the camera, was visible. In this case, the filmmaker was not framing anything, the story was not necessarily being told through a series of frames/shots. The camera was taking in its surroundings indiscriminately. I shot on campus at CalArts, I shot at Disneyland, I shot in my dad’s van which I made out to be a kind of twisted dollhouse.
The result of this project was Violet, an experimental 360 film that tells the story of a fictional self-harm streaming platform told through an interview with one of its users. When I was making it, I was thinking about political ennui, degenerative ambition, and a rising contempt for the human body in an increasingly digitized world. I was also thinking about the performance of pain on the internet especially but not exclusively, feminine pain.
A few months ago, I stumbled upon the script I had written for the voiceover portion of the project and it reminded me that during the research process, I was very interested in the Terms and Conditions of various social media companies. The one that would become Violet’s Terms and Conditions policy was modeled after Facebook’s.
The next section includes Violet’s Terms and Conditions policy, it’s the reason I started writing this post.
By using or visiting Violet or any Violet products, software, data, and services provided to me on, from, or through Violet, I agree to these terms and conditions.
I grant Violet exclusive, transferable, sub-licensable, royalty-free, worldwide license to use any content, that I post on or in connection with Violet.
By using or visiting Violet, I understand any content pertaining to the neglect, harm, and total destruction of my body and mind can be used by Violet, in its sole discretion, for sale as well as the manufacturing of other content, also known as sisters or duplicates.
By using or visiting Violet, I understand that destroying my body is easy and although Violet will not be liable for any losses caused by my use of the service, I may be liable for losses of Violet due to any violating act, attitude, attribute, or idea, deemed unauthorized by Violet.
I further understand and acknowledge that any pain or displacement— both in the sense of the physical as well as social modes of relating— including that of psychic energies and loss of sensibilities, that I may experience while using Violet is exclusively my own and I shall be solely responsible for my content, subjecthood, and the consequences of submitting and publishing my misery and despair on Violet.
I acknowledge that my desires are mine, and mine alone and do not reflect those of Violet, its products, software, data, and services.
However, by submitting pain to Violet, I hereby grant Violet a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free license to use, reproduce, distribute, prepare derivative works of, display, and perform the pain in connection with the service and Violet’s business, including without limitation for promoting and redistributing part or all of the service in any media formats and through any media channels. I also hereby grant each user of the service a non-exclusive license to access my pain, including but not limited to the imaginative and internalized and to use, reproduce distribute display, and perform such pain, including representation of pain, as permitted through the functionality of the service and under these terms of service.
I understand that Violet may use my feedback or suggestions without any obligation to compensate me for them, just as I have no obligation to offer them.
I understand that once I have exhausted my body of its productive and resourceful properties, deemed from here forward as “wellness,” Violet reserves the right to terminate my language, relations, and access to its service.
If and once I am determined “exhausted” and devoid of “wellness,” any content created under my account is exclusively the property of Violet, any sister or duplicate content created through my use of the service is deemed its own entity and nothing to do with me or my suffering.
I give Violet permission to use my pain and information in connection with commercial, sponsored, or related content served or enhanced by Violet.
I further understand and acknowledge that I may be exposed to content that is inaccurate, offensive, indecent, objectionable, and spectacular, and I agree to waive and hereby do waive any legal or equitable rights or remedies I have or may have against Violet with respect thereto, and, to the extent permitted by applicable law, agree to indemnify and hold harmless Violet, its owners, operators, affiliates, licensors, and licensees to the fullest extent allowed by law regarding all matters related to my use of the service and the destruction of the self.
My continued use of Violet and its services, following notice of the changes to its terms, politics, or guidelines, constitutes my acceptance of any amended terms, policies, or guidelines.
You can watch Violet here: Violet in 360
(!trigger warning! The film includes sounds of women crying and men screaming lol)
The film is on YouTube, due to the platform’s support of 360, this means when you watch the film you can move the screen around and find the places hiding out of frame, (the frame that’s not really supposed to be there, remember?) When I presented it at Oxy in 2018 the students and faculty were able to watch it with VR headsets so the problem of the frame was somewhat solved, if you have a VR headset it might be a good idea to use it for this :) — you can also watch it on your phone, on the YouTube app, and move your phone around…etc.
I think Violet is one of my more obscure works and (a little bit because and a little bit despite this) it’s one that’s very special to me, so thank you for letting me share it with you.
Thank you for subscribing and supporting!
thank you love you bye <3